Joe: whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you.
M2: ..and that’s why I’m so wasted off it man, it’s like I’m seeing things, man.
Joe: yeah, you can hardly stand, man.
M2: you should take my car keys, cuz I can’t drive, man.
Joe: right, right.
M2: I can barely walk.
Joe: hey man, you better open those eyes up, they’re half shut.
M2: there’s two of you, man. I can’t see anymore, man, I’m blind!
Joe: right.. I got the beers, huh? I’m the man, right?
M2: yeah, you are the man.
Joe: say it. say I’m the man.
M2: yer da man!!
Joe: okay, well that beer..
M2: yeah?
Joe: there was no alcohol in that beer.
[pause]
Joe: that was non-alcoholic. so..uhh..again, I’m gonna have to bust you on this one. you’re lying.
[silence]
M2: [mumbling] I’ll be right back.
Joe: ok, buddy, you go sober up.
[walking different directions, gun goes off]
Joe: oh my god! he killed himself! he killed himself!
[runs over]
Joe: oh my god! you killed yerself, buddy.
M2: yeah, I’m dead, man.
Joe: oh my, oh yer dead.
M2: yeah, I’m dead, man.
Joe: that is awefull.
M2: there’s a big white light and everything, man.
Joe: yeah! well you showed us all, man.
M2: oh man, I’m so peaceful here man.
Joe: yeah, you see anything weird, or..
M2: my relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather’s there and..
Joe: ooooh, I remember him, he’s a good guy.
M2: he’s still wearing the same clothes, and..
Joe: hey, say hello fer me, huh?
M2: hey man, joe says hi, man.
Joe: [chuckling] right.
M2: it’s yeah..my uncle’s here and...
Joe: right..right.. hey I got some news for ya. this is so funny.
M2: yeah? what, man?
Joe: yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven. the gun, you killed yerself with, that’s the one I sold you, right?
M2: yeah.
Joe: yeah, well that was a cap gun. so, there’s no way you could have killed yourself.
[pause]
Joe: yeah, that’s right, ok.. I’m going back to the party. ok, take care.
[walks back]
M2: [whimpering and crying] I’m moving to a different town man.
- four weeks later.
[pouring drink]
M2: oh this beer is great, man. this tequila is really strong, man. it’s got a worm, and everything in it, man.
Buffoon: fuckin’ shit!
M2: all being in the sun, you’re even more wasted. fuckin’ shit is right, man! I am totally wasted now, man. I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade.
Buffoon: I know a guy who can suck his own dick.
M2: yeah, I know a guy who can do that too. he’s the drummer from molly hatchet and one night we had two cases of southern comfort, man. we were so wasted off it. I’m serious man.
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